Bradley Sands is a writer of bizarro fiction with a lot of talent. He wrote a book called "Rico Slade Will F***ing Kill You." Lazy Fascist Press unleashed this book upon the world. If you don't read this book, you face dire consequences. If you read this book, you also face dire consequences, but at least you'll have a lot of fun. Why? Because Rico Slade is a killing machine.

Rico Slade rips people's throats out like it's nothing. Rico Slade ate Captain America for lunch yesterday. If you buy this book, Rico Slade will jump out of its pages, slap you around and take your lunch money...and you'll like it. Rico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope. Rico Slade has kidnapped Bradley Sands and you can read all about that here.

Okay, enough of that. The book I'm talking about is a brilliantly funny satire with a heavy dose of violence. In "Rico Slade Will F***ing Kill You," the title character -- played in movies by a very-in-denial Chip Johnson -- tears through Hollywood in search of his arch nemesis, an evil man named Baron Mayhem. Mayhem plans to destroy the world with a bomb that kills people, but leaves money intact. What ensues is something that reads like a movie directed by David Lynch in which a crazy Rambo with male pattern baldness is let loose in Hollywood and takes on everyone from salespersons and the Hollywood Police to a middle-age couple from the Midwest and a teen-aged cashier.

I usually like to compare the writers of books I review to mainstream authors so that readers know more or less what they're in for. With Bradley Sands, this was quite a challenge. Here's the best I could come up with: Sands writes like the insane lovechild of David Morrell and James Ellroy when he doesn't take his Ritalin.

"Rico Slade Will F***ing Kill You" tears to shreds everything that is Hollywood within the first ten pages. Although it's easy to get caught up in the hilarity and over-the-top action, Rico Slade/Chip Johnson hides a few fears and lives in denial of his own sexuality. If you're looking for some well-crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in equal degrees, this is the book for you.

Also, through the month of July, Rico Slade is forcing Sands to donate all profits from the book to the American Decency Association. This is Rico writing in Sands' blog: "I’m making Bradley donate all of July’s royalties from his book, "Rico Slade Will F***ing Kill You, to the American Decency Association. 'Cause Rico Slade is all about decency and family values and shit." So, you not only get a great read when you buy this book; you'll also be helping to keep America clean.