Man in George W. Bush Mask Robs Austin Bank, Likes Red Sox
Multiple local news sources are reporting that a man donning a George W. Bush mask robbed a Compass Bank on Friday and fled in a black vehicle.
According to an Austin Police Department report, the same bank (at 4100 N. Lamar) was robbed on October by a man wearing all black clothing and a George W. Bush mask who fled in a black vehicle. In both robberies, the man had a gun, but didn't hurt anyone. The APD has not said whether the robberies are connected. It's clearly too soon to tell.
Let me be the first one to ask the tough questions that haven't been asked.
1. Why a Red Sox hat the second time? Any intelligent burglar trying to pose as George W. Bush would wear a Texas Rangers hat...unless he is too ashamed of their recent performance in the World Series.
2. Are the robberies tied to the release of former President George W. Bush's memoir?
3. What are the sales numbers of Bush's book at local book retailers? Perhaps it is not a mask, and the former president is just frustrated with the lagging book sales in a town where he has very few fans.
4. Why not a President Barack Obama mask? Most of the country thinks Obama is already robbing us, so perhaps the bankers wouldn't be so surprised when he walked in.
5. Does the burglar at least try to use a solid Texas accent for authenticity?
6. Will he try a bowler hat next time? A beret?
I don't think the citizens of Austin will rest peacefully until these questions are answered.
Photo from www.bandittracker.com